Room & Board Anonymous

Hi, my name is Darron and I’m a Room & Board-aholic. I’m addicted to buying furniture. My whole apartment looks like a showroom and I half expect John Gabbert to walk through it one day assuming it’s a pop-up shop in Queens, New York that he didn’t know about. My most recent purchase was that of a Cooper bench that I bought in June. It’s orange and it goes great with my Eames molded plastic chair that is almost the exact same color. That chair sits next to the other three, a white one, a lime green one and a grey one. They go great with my aqua sky Eames rocker that sits in my living room that accents the Peacock Eames with maple dowel legs on the other side of the room which matches the black Eames chair with maple dowel legs I have at my desk. Oh, and my dining table is a Portica with a white quartz top.

I need help.

Sometimes, when I am feeling bad about my compulsive need to spend my Room & Board paychecks on Room & Board furniture, I throw myself onto my Parsons bed with the encased coil ultra-plush mattress and cry into my charcoal percale sheets. If that doesn’t make me feel better, I cry into my steel grey sheepskin rug. And if that doesn’t work, I cry on my Arden high-loop rug in grey that I bought as a floor sample.

It’s a problem.

I don’t really have any plans to buy any more furniture right now, but I do know that my Porter sofa in Doria grass is needing to be replaced. I’ve had it for eight years, four years longer than I have worked at Room & Board, and I need a change. Don’t get me wrong, the sofa is still in great shape. It’s just that I’m bored with it. When I’m surrounded by beautiful furniture all day, how can I not be expected to buy it? Maybe I need to just put it out of mind. I should turn the lights down low (my Library lamp, also a floor sample) and watch a movie. As I stare at the TV that is sitting on my 82″ Hudson media console in walnut with stainless steel legs, maybe I will forget that I have an addiction to Room & Board furniture.

My name is Darron and I’m a Room & Board-aholic.

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